Dear Christian Who is Praying for An Infant to Adopt | Adoption ...

Adoption has been compared to marriage. This past week one of my Twitter followers retweeted a Facebook post with a quote by an adoptive mother named Joan McNamara.

McNamara says: ?It has been said that adoption is more like a marriage than a birth: two (or more) individuals, each with their own unique mix of needs, patterns and genetic history, coming together with love, hope and commitment for a joint future. You become a family not because you share the same genes, but because you share love for each other.?

I do see similarities between marriage and adoption. Both institutions involve joining those who are not relatives by birth, both become immediate family members and both entail legalities.

And?in order to ?marry? an infant who is not your son or daughter by birth, there first has to be a ?divorce.? Ouch, do we have to bring that up? Sorry, just keepin? it real.

So, Christian who is praying for an infant to adopt?when you pray to move up on the adoption agency?s waiting list, praying for a baby to become available, do you understand that you are praying for a family to be separated, so you can be joined together?

That?s what it will take for you to get the baby.

When you ask your friends to join you in praying that a baby will more quickly become available for you, do you understand that you are praying for a traumatic event in the life of a mother and child, one that will affect both of their lives, forever?

Babies Are In Short Supply?

Relinquishments are not as prevalent today as they were in the baby scoop era. Available infants are rare and in Christian circles they are prayed in for desperate couples, and sometimes even fundraised in. With this reality in mind, when you pray that a mother somewhere will make the decision to surrender her baby so that you can have them, how would it be that much different from praying that a person would leave their spouse so you can marry them?

?Are you sick, Deanna? Can?t you see this it totallllllly different? What?s wrong with you??

Not so fast, my friends. Even my sister Shari says I am right about this. And she?s the most conservative person I know. Not only does she refuse to hug trees, she slaps them around once in a while.

It?s just a fact that before a family is joined together through adoption, another family must be separated by relinquishment. If a plethora of adoptive parents have their way, they are separated permanently, never to see one another again.

The difficult truth for many to accept: for a child to be adopted, a tragedy is first required.

I stand amazed at the amount of people I personally encounter who just will not accept this glaring truth.

?But I?m not praying for a tragedy to happen?? they say. ?I just want a baby, not a tragedy.?

?Don?t you know where adopted babies come from? There is no adoption stork. Or a Santa Claus.

If more babies are going to be available to adopt, more have to be relinquished. It?s just as simple as that. Supply and demand.

Is It Really All That Different?

When you are in the process of adoption and you pray that a mother will not change her mind within the window of time allowable, is that so unlike praying against the restoration of a person?s marriage before a divorce is finalized, if such a divorce were to your benefit?

?That would be crazy!? you say.

You?re right.

If you gave a prayer request for someone to leave and divorce their spouse, giving no opportunity for restoration, simply so they would be accessible for you or someone else to marry, your pastor and church family may think you were mentally ill, spiritually in trouble, in need of counseling or all three!

If we wouldn?t pray for someone to divorce their spouse, why would we pray for a parent to relinquish their baby?

You say, ?This is apples and oranges. Not even the same thing. Christians are commanded not to divorce except for two reasons and scripture declares that nothing should separate husband and wife, yet adoption is praised in scripture.?

Are you sure?

What does the bible really say about adoption?

I challenge you to find even one scripture verse that encourages some women to relinquish their babies so other women can have them. Furthermore, I invite you to find even one scripture that praises adoption in the context of legally adopting a child, not spiritual adoption, otherwise known as salvation.

What about James 1:27?

I knew you were going to bring that up.

Let?s go there.

?Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.? James 1:27

This is not necessary a command to adopt. It is a command to care for. But how? What does care mean?

I?ve written more extensive thoughts on this at this post. But think about the fact that orphans and widows are linked together in James 1:27.

As commenter lilysea shared in response to this post that I wrote on the subject:

?Widows and orphans? means mothers and their children. As a unit. NOT as separate entities. This is in no way a biblical command to ?adopt? ?orphans? but if anything, a command to keep mothers and children together and well in the face of want and vulnerability.?

Consider that even if the original intention of the verse was not with the emphasis of keeping widows and orphans together, no where in scripture is there any praise for mothers being separated from their children. In fact, it seems wherever it is mentioned, God sees it as a tragedy. He repeatedly says He will comfort those who have been relinquished. (Psalm 68:5, Psalm 27:10, among others.) Why does He say that He will comfort us if there is nothing to mourn?

Moses is often featured as a biblical example of adoption but think about the fact that God made sure his original mother nursed him after he was adopted and even arranged for her to care for him in his formative years. Apparently God cares about keeping moms and kids together if at all possible, for as long as possible..

Think this through?

Couples who face infertility are genuinely hurting. I understand that, and my heart goes out to anyone who is in that situation.

At the same time can we please stop disengaging our minds from the truth of what has to happen in order for infant adoptions to take place?

Statistics tell us there is a shortage of marriage-able men. Just as babies to adopt are hard to come by, apparently so are available guys. Some single women want husbands desperately. If single girls prayed for more divorces so more men would be available to marry, we?d call them sinners. Or maybe we?d call them psychos.

Yet it is considered perfectly normal, and even a Godly request of sorts, to offer up a prayer that a baby become available for a couple.

There are half a million children in the United States living in foster care, many of them waiting to be adopted. They are quite eager to fill empty arms.

?But we don?t want to adopt an older child,? they say??we want a baby.?

Oh?I?m sorry. I thought it was all about helping a child.

Was I mistaken?

Source: http://adoptionvoicesmagazine.com/adoptee-view/dear-christian-who-is-praying-for-an-infant-to-adopt/

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